Office Noir: Secretaria Dim Wittus

Secretaria stared at her "to-do" list until the words grew hazy. Unfortunately, for Secretaria, "to dos" often turned into "to don'ts," a much longer list.

If success were predicated on whoever had the longest "to-don't" list, Secretaria would surely have been the Guinness Book winner in the category. That's why she grew her hair long. She dreamed of holding that title one day, too. Her nails were another story since they always broke and never grew back fast enough after filing, despite the rarity of such an occurrence.

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