Financial Management in Marriage

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Amanda Winters - the A+ Plan on October 20, 2009 at 7:22am

If it's over $500, we have to discuss the purchase beforehand. Otherwise, I think it really helps that my husband doesn't get annoyed or angry if I want to buy something, since he knew what he was marrying! ;)

Permalink Reply by Joanna Trusdle on October 20, 2009 at 7:25am

One thing I have learned from experience, is to never ever have joint account anything! Bank accounts or credit accounts. First, it is way too hard to keep track of balances when 2 people are dipping into the accounts. Second, God forbid, if there is a divorce, inevitably one person will empty an account just out of spite.

Another idea, that worked for me, is to budget out how much from each person's paycheck needs to be set aside to be able to pay the bills at the end of the month. Then place that money into a separate bill-paying account. This way no one will be "accidentally" spending bill-paying money. After that, each person can decide how much to place into savings and then decide how much can be spending money. The main thing is to get that bill-paying money into a separate account. It basically cuts out any arguments on paying the bills.

Permalink Reply by Holly Bowne on October 20, 2009 at 9:28am

My husband and I decided to share everything. We have one checking and one savings account. We are both extremely budget conscious. We sit down together at the beginning of the year and create a monthly budget. I handle the basic bookeeping stuff: daily/weekly recording of expenses and income, and I balance the checkbook. But we both evaluate where we're at for the end of each month so we're on the same page.

Permalink Reply by Dawn DeMarco on October 28, 2009 at 10:51am

My question is if the husband is the only one working (not for lack of trying) but the bills take out everything but $70 that has to last for two weeks. It's hard to make that money last that long, and we're trying to figure out what we can cut and sacrifice, but he's a big guy... He eats a lot (and he's a compulsive eater, so that doesn't help any) We try to budget but we already starve for a week as it is. And without gas in the car, if I do get an interview, I can't get to it. So... any suggestions?

Permalink Reply by Joanna Trusdle on October 28, 2009 at 12:55pm

I just read an article on this very subject, and she pretty much said everything I just said. Here I thought that was my idea : ) It's in MORE magazine. "The best money system for couples" (November, 2009, pg. 76).

Joanna Trusdle said:

One thing I have learned from experience, is to never ever have joint account anything! Bank accounts or credit accounts. First, it is way too hard to keep track of balances when 2 people are dipping into the accounts. Second, God forbid, if there is a divorce, inevitably one person will empty an account just out of spite.

Another idea, that worked for me, is to budget out how much from each person's paycheck needs to be set aside to be able to pay the bills at the end of the month. Then place that money into a separate bill-paying account. This way no one will be "accidentally" spending bill-paying money. After that, each person can decide how much to place into savings and then decide how much can be spending money. The main thing is to get that bill-paying money into a separate account. It basically cuts out any arguments on paying the bills.

Permalink Reply by Joanna Trusdle on October 28, 2009 at 12:58pm

I think that probably works for you two, since you both have the same feelings about money managment. That's great that you two can work that out.

Holly Bowne said:

My husband and I decided to share everything. We have one checking and one savings account. We are both extremely budget conscious. We sit down together at the beginning of the year and create a monthly budget. I handle the basic bookeeping stuff: daily/weekly recording of expenses and income, and I balance the checkbook. But we both evaluate where we're at for the end of each month so we're on the same page.

Permalink Reply by Joanna Trusdle on October 28, 2009 at 1:04pm

Does your husband really understand the very real need to cut back? He's going to have to realize that he just can't have everything he wants right now. Have you two written down every penny into a budget book so he can actually see where it is going? Sometimes that's a good wake-up call for people. Check out recipes for low-budget families. It's possible, just not always fun or all the yummy stuff, but you need to be able to get to a job interview, for goodness sakes.

Dawn DeMarco said:

My question is if the husband is the only one working (not for lack of trying) but the bills take out everything but $70 that has to last for two weeks. It's hard to make that money last that long, and we're trying to figure out what we can cut and sacrifice, but he's a big guy... He eats a lot (and he's a compulsive eater, so that doesn't help any) We try to budget but we already starve for a week as it is. And without gas in the car, if I do get an interview, I can't get to it. So... any suggestions?

Permalink Reply by Joanna on October 30, 2009 at 1:22am

Hi Dawn,
In this situation, I would think first about cutting back. I would pick the biggest expense item I can save money on and make a change in that area. For example, rent may account for the biggest monthly expense and if possible, I would start there and find a cheaper place. If that is not possible, then I would save on the next biggest expense. This is because saving a little probably wouldn't help but saving at the biggest expense may make a big difference. In addition, I would also think about how to make more and really find a job or a better job aggressively. Only increasing income can eventually improve the financial situation...
Hope it helps and let us know how it goes...
Joanna

Dawn DeMarco said:

My question is if the husband is the only one working (not for lack of trying) but the bills take out everything but $70 that has to last for two weeks. It's hard to make that money last that long, and we're trying to figure out what we can cut and sacrifice, but he's a big guy... He eats a lot (and he's a compulsive eater, so that doesn't help any) We try to budget but we already starve for a week as it is. And without gas in the car, if I do get an interview, I can't get to it. So... any suggestions?

Permalink Reply by Dawn DeMarco on October 30, 2009 at 5:19pm

We have cut back a lot. It doesn't help that most of our left over money goes directly to food, because we are so scared to starve for a week. It's happened more than once and that gets hard. Luckily, we are blessed in small amounts and are able to eat at least once a day. I'm so used to it, that's all I eat anyway so things will last longer. Probably not the healthiest thing to do, but it works. His phone bill is the second highest bill, and we're trying to get that fixed. He went with a smart phone when he went to college the first time but realized the data plan could not be removed a little too late. It didn't help that Alltel/Verizon have been giving him nothing but runarounds and lies. They told him that he could switch over for free in October, but then told him it would be extra. The lady on the phone said it would be billed, but the guy at the counter said upfront. We didn't have it, so we're stuck with a $125 or so bill. That's not on our top priority list to pay. We try to get cheap food that will last longer, and I am proud of him for turning down cookies that were on sale (like homemade, and he loves to cook). I will check out the recipes and see what we can do. Sorry for being so long winded; I'm just trying to answer all the questions. Oh, and no we can't move. It's actually the cheapest place for lot rent for what and where it is. It helps to be right across from where he works, so that saves on gas (he walks). It's also pretty centrally located, and he is going back to school out here online (for now). And of course, we don't have the money to move. As for the job thing, we are both looking. The place he works is being extremely stupid and they "don't want to lose him up front" even for a higher paying position in the back.

Joanna said:

Hi Dawn,
In this situation, I would think first about cutting back. I would pick the biggest expense item I can save money on and make a change in that area. For example, rent may account for the biggest monthly expense and if possible, I would start there and find a cheaper place. If that is not possible, then I would save on the next biggest expense. This is because saving a little probably wouldn't help but saving at the biggest expense may make a big difference. In addition, I would also think about how to make more and really find a job or a better job aggressively. Only increasing income can eventually improve the financial situation...
Hope it helps and let us know how it goes...
Joanna

Dawn DeMarco said:

My question is if the husband is the only one working (not for lack of trying) but the bills take out everything but $70 that has to last for two weeks. It's hard to make that money last that long, and we're trying to figure out what we can cut and sacrifice, but he's a big guy... He eats a lot (and he's a compulsive eater, so that doesn't help any) We try to budget but we already starve for a week as it is. And without gas in the car, if I do get an interview, I can't get to it. So... any suggestions?

Permalink Reply by Dawn DeMarco on October 30, 2009 at 5:22pm

We've cut back on quite a few things, but we're also trying to eat healthy, which costs a tad more than eating nothing but junk. He and his father have gone over the budget, but he only puts the bills in there and then we use whatever is left on groceries, usually. I'm trying to keep him away from going out to eat when we have the spare cash to save it, which is hard, but he usually listens to me. He knows he can't have everything he wants. He's not selfish. Rather, I am too giving. I give up my food for stuff he wants, even if I don't like it. He gets mad at me when he figures it out, but by then it is too late.

Joanna Trusdle said:

Does your husband really understand the very real need to cut back? He's going to have to realize that he just can't have everything he wants right now. Have you two written down every penny into a budget book so he can actually see where it is going? Sometimes that's a good wake-up call for people. Check out recipes for low-budget families. It's possible, just not always fun or all the yummy stuff, but you need to be able to get to a job interview, for goodness sakes.

Dawn DeMarco said:

My question is if the husband is the only one working (not for lack of trying) but the bills take out everything but $70 that has to last for two weeks. It's hard to make that money last that long, and we're trying to figure out what we can cut and sacrifice, but he's a big guy... He eats a lot (and he's a compulsive eater, so that doesn't help any) We try to budget but we already starve for a week as it is. And without gas in the car, if I do get an interview, I can't get to it. So... any suggestions?

Permalink Reply by Joanna on November 1, 2009 at 2:30am

Hi Dawn,
Thanks for sharing... Given the situation, I think the best thing is hopefully find a better job for both you and your husband... So how is job search going? Any progress? Which field are you guys in?

Joanna

Dawn DeMarco said:

We have cut back a lot. It doesn't help that most of our left over money goes directly to food, because we are so scared to starve for a week. It's happened more than once and that gets hard. Luckily, we are blessed in small amounts and are able to eat at least once a day. I'm so used to it, that's all I eat anyway so things will last longer. Probably not the healthiest thing to do, but it works. His phone bill is the second highest bill, and we're trying to get that fixed. He went with a smart phone when he went to college the first time but realized the data plan could not be removed a little too late. It didn't help that Alltel/Verizon have been giving him nothing but runarounds and lies. They told him that he could switch over for free in October, but then told him it would be extra. The lady on the phone said it would be billed, but the guy at the counter said upfront. We didn't have it, so we're stuck with a $125 or so bill. That's not on our top priority list to pay. We try to get cheap food that will last longer, and I am proud of him for turning down cookies that were on sale (like homemade, and he loves to cook). I will check out the recipes and see what we can do. Sorry for being so long winded; I'm just trying to answer all the questions. Oh, and no we can't move. It's actually the cheapest place for lot rent for what and where it is. It helps to be right across from where he works, so that saves on gas (he walks). It's also pretty centrally located, and he is going back to school out here online (for now). And of course, we don't have the money to move. As for the job thing, we are both looking. The place he works is being extremely stupid and they "don't want to lose him up front" even for a higher paying position in the back.

Joanna said:

Hi Dawn,
In this situation, I would think first about cutting back. I would pick the biggest expense item I can save money on and make a change in that area. For example, rent may account for the biggest monthly expense and if possible, I would start there and find a cheaper place. If that is not possible, then I would save on the next biggest expense. This is because saving a little probably wouldn't help but saving at the biggest expense may make a big difference. In addition, I would also think about how to make more and really find a job or a better job aggressively. Only increasing income can eventually improve the financial situation...
Hope it helps and let us know how it goes...
Joanna

Dawn DeMarco said:

My question is if the husband is the only one working (not for lack of trying) but the bills take out everything but $70 that has to last for two weeks. It's hard to make that money last that long, and we're trying to figure out what we can cut and sacrifice, but he's a big guy... He eats a lot (and he's a compulsive eater, so that doesn't help any) We try to budget but we already starve for a week as it is. And without gas in the car, if I do get an interview, I can't get to it. So... any suggestions?

Permalink Reply by Dawn DeMarco on November 2, 2009 at 10:44am

The job search is going nowhere. No one is hiring me, because I have no experience, and no one is hiring Joe either because of lack of experience, lack of smarts, or overqualified. I am in no field. I have had one job in my entire life and I was paid under the table (which is why I can't sue him for not paying me...long story..ish) and the business fell through within 3 months after I began working there. The job was electronic recycling company which I can't find another one hiring. His field is cars and computers; mostly computers. No one is hiring him either. My problem is I literally cannot work with food, which is pretty much the only thing hiring. I can't work with food because it makes me sick (the smells.. yeah I'm allergic to smells of all things and that includes food scented candles, ivory soap, generic fragrances, the Suave waterfall scent, etc). That kind of hinders me but I can't help it. Even Wal Mart wouldn't hire me.

Joanna said:

Hi Dawn,
Thanks for sharing... Given the situation, I think the best thing is hopefully find a better job for both you and your husband... So how is job search going? Any progress? Which field are you guys in?

Joanna

Dawn DeMarco said:

We have cut back a lot. It doesn't help that most of our left over money goes directly to food, because we are so scared to starve for a week. It's happened more than once and that gets hard. Luckily, we are blessed in small amounts and are able to eat at least once a day. I'm so used to it, that's all I eat anyway so things will last longer. Probably not the healthiest thing to do, but it works. His phone bill is the second highest bill, and we're trying to get that fixed. He went with a smart phone when he went to college the first time but realized the data plan could not be removed a little too late. It didn't help that Alltel/Verizon have been giving him nothing but runarounds and lies. They told him that he could switch over for free in October, but then told him it would be extra. The lady on the phone said it would be billed, but the guy at the counter said upfront. We didn't have it, so we're stuck with a $125 or so bill. That's not on our top priority list to pay. We try to get cheap food that will last longer, and I am proud of him for turning down cookies that were on sale (like homemade, and he loves to cook). I will check out the recipes and see what we can do. Sorry for being so long winded; I'm just trying to answer all the questions. Oh, and no we can't move. It's actually the cheapest place for lot rent for what and where it is. It helps to be right across from where he works, so that saves on gas (he walks). It's also pretty centrally located, and he is going back to school out here online (for now). And of course, we don't have the money to move. As for the job thing, we are both looking. The place he works is being extremely stupid and they "don't want to lose him up front" even for a higher paying position in the back.

Joanna said:

Hi Dawn,
In this situation, I would think first about cutting back. I would pick the biggest expense item I can save money on and make a change in that area. For example, rent may account for the biggest monthly expense and if possible, I would start there and find a cheaper place. If that is not possible, then I would save on the next biggest expense. This is because saving a little probably wouldn't help but saving at the biggest expense may make a big difference. In addition, I would also think about how to make more and really find a job or a better job aggressively. Only increasing income can eventually improve the financial situation...
Hope it helps and let us know how it goes...
Joanna

Dawn DeMarco said:

My question is if the husband is the only one working (not for lack of trying) but the bills take out everything but $70 that has to last for two weeks. It's hard to make that money last that long, and we're trying to figure out what we can cut and sacrifice, but he's a big guy... He eats a lot (and he's a compulsive eater, so that doesn't help any) We try to budget but we already starve for a week as it is. And without gas in the car, if I do get an interview, I can't get to it. So... any suggestions?

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